Blessings, blessings, blessings. Life is good, life is awesome! Holy spirit comes in, we rock San Francisco, Drives home, pray, write, pray.. SLEEP!!! BAM, SIN!!!$^%&* Wall, "Where am I, who am I?" "Oh yeah God!!! ok lets try it again.
Wakes up... Sabbath? No I gotta help my family move...
And now recovery.
My last weeks have been amazing, experiencing freedoms in my soul that I never thought existed. Making room for the holy spirit to dwell could of neva been betta. And I am changed, eternally free as long as I remember the king who has died for me. So why is there is a Spirit of tiredness over me, maybe I just need to drink this un-sipped tea thats been siting in front of me for the last 30 minutes. I like to think I don't need it... Ok so I just gulped the entire thing down and while I was gulping it I remember this prayer I prayed a couple of weeks ago. I prayed that God would show me how to treat every girl as my sister. To give me a developed understanding of what it means to have and how to treat sisters. See I was born in a family with three boys and when I went through school I had awesome friends that were girls, some I would call my sisters. And it was awesome, until they give you a letter and walk off all fast and as you read the letter it talks about how very much they are in love with you. So you think to yourself "that was out of left field, guess I need to watch how I spend my time with these 'sisters'" And by watching how I spent my time with them, I would just stop all relationships, because I didn't want to be breakin no hearts. And thats how I lived. So when I would actually be around a girl, whom I was attracted to there was no real friendship there so I probably just turned out creepy. That sucks. And this went on and on and on until I said "NO MOSE!" Couldn't handle the heartbreak I was getting into. Then I didn't have an awesome excuse like "God told me to be single." I was truly hurt because all the relationships I had I wanted them to be real, real love, real friendship. However there was nothing real about it. They weren't real friendships and therefore fake love(lust)... Then I would of traded all those lust filled relationships for just a couple of my "Platonic sister friend relationships" but time goes on and like my momma always says "Whats done, is done."
So here I am, I've been working on that whole sister is Christ thing and it's been awesome. I move on though the attraction I am drawn towards. I pray it off. I thank God for being there always ready to listen. Because now I seek God, I seek god as much as I can and I am convicted I need to seek him harder. But all along I seek him I find myself opening up making friends both male and female. I'm convinced Jesus never tried to make friends, I think people were just attracted to Him for the pure joy of being around him. As Christians we should be the same way, not seeking friends, but God. Friends will come along the journey and by friends I mean brothers and sisters.
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